Can’t wake up at 6

I still can’t wake up at 6 in the morning and if I write about discipline, probably you won’t be buying my words. Fair enough, just in case you want to hear my battle story, here it goes.

In the past years if there is one thing that I lack, it’s got to be ‘discipline’. I have great passion while I begin something, but slowly tend to lose momentum. Often I would think it’s because of losing interest in what was started. However, on an honest lookout I know my problems with discipline.

My preference is to keep things flowing and not really stick to predefined parameters. Be it work or workout, hobbies or projects, I avoid rules as much as possible. I also bring ‘creativity’s enemy is discipline’ arguments to save my ass. I think I developed an aversion to discipline at a much younger age. The meaning of discipline seems fine when you read until ‘training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour’. The problem begins when it continues to intend ‘using a punishment to correct disobedience’. That is exactly where I want to disagree and disregard any activity that may require large amounts of discipline.

Since many months quite a bit of my focus is on growing internally. So, considering an overall development and putting an end to my fear for discipline, I started to put a schedule and drafted my rules to follow everyday and wholeheartedly do activities I plan. Let me admit that I had to fake start my wholeheartedness, however eventually it became a practice. I realise I’m far less critic about the way I progress with my work than before and I’m usually more on a satisfied zone. I’m happy about the way I’ve been able to accommodate doing many things and also noting that I do them even without complaining. Even when I can’t get past the schedule, I don’t panic, but put them as learning the art of prioritizing and get better at planning. I think the essential is not punishing myself for disobedience and rather welcome the gap with much love and learning. These are definitely baby steps and I really have a long way on this road.

Just yesterday, I finished reading Brene Brown’s ‘Daring Greatly’ and she has inspired me to think of vulnerability from a whole new perspective. I’m glad to have picked this book right at the beginning of this year. Its really helping me understand and handle my fear and vulnerabilities with courage. I encourage you to read this one and also to dare greatly.

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